It is so crazy to write this as I sit here in my own apartment, looking out my window at the most beautiful view of the Vatican, feeling like I’m living in the cielo above Roma. It’s also crazy because I haven’t written a blog in so long…and for good reason. Life has been crazy—the good kind of crazy, for the most part—and I’ve barely had time to even think about sharing what I’ve been up to besides through Instagram stories and occasional posts there [plus in my journal, always]. Even as I sit down to write this I’m not really even sure where to begin.
One of my last posts was all about playing the long game. It’s really hard to imagine how I started the year because of where I am now, but it was thanks to my patience and perseverance and sacrifices that I’m here now, literally living my dream. In that post I talked a bit about my journey here, including a little about the visa process. I wrote it a week before I moved here, at a time when chaos literally ruled my life. I was moving abroad in the midst of a busy time—moving out of my apartment, packing up my life, tying up all the loose ends while trying to be there for important family events and make my own peace with leaving my hometown and all the people I love. It really was a crazy, overwhelming time and when I arrived in Italy on July 3rd, I think I was still processing all of it.
My arrival to Roma wasn’t the usual avalanche of emotions, instead it was like a slow burn. Which makes sense, this time was different. I live here now, I’m not just temporarily visiting, avoiding looking at the calendar and trying to forget about my imminent return back to the US. The realizations came to me in the little, everyday moments, when I’d be shopping and remember I could buy the things I wanted, because I live here now. I didn’t have to hold myself back any longer. Or when I would meet friends for aperitivo at my favorite spot, and be so casual and chatting with my friends who work there and feel so at home in the place, so like I belonged.
Of course, there have also been bureaucratic things and steps I’ve had to take that I never have before. Doing all the paperwork for my permesso di soggiorno [stay permit], arranging apartment viewings in Italian, going to get my codice fiscale [tax code you need if you live here lol] so I could fill out the contract for my apartment and get Wi-Fi installed. Through it all I have been soooo grateful for the fact that I speak Italian already, and for all of my past experiences here that have given me the knowledge and the courage to live here and create this new life for myself here. It’s really been crazy to think about how all of my past experiences have truly prepared me for this moment.
So, I arrived in Roma. And then I really just did it all at once—the paperwork, a Blanco concert, meeting up with and hosting friends, working, escaping the heat of the city for the sea whenever I could, apartment hunting, dealing with broken AC, traveling a lot, securing my dream apartment and moving in, my usual two week holiday in Calabria, settling into my new casa, and even more travel and hosting. It was truly the summer of chaos but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. And, it felt different than other summers. I don’t know if it was because Venus was in retrograde [literally felt the shift the day it went direct], or if it was because I live here now, but the summer was full of lessons and also a bit of heartbreak and moments of intense happiness and gratitude. I’ll post an Estate italiana 2023 blog like I’ve done the past few years where I go into more detail about where I traveled, but overall the vibe was getting serious about living here and also trying to take advantage of the summer and the beauty of Italy in the summer. It’s hard to describe, but I think I did a good job of trying to when I wrote this in my journal, while reflecting on the end of the summer [roughly translated from the Italian I wrote it in]:
It was a different kind of summer—different than usual and different than what I thought and what I dreamed for this summer. But it was beautiful all the same and like every summer before, I realized how much I changed in this year. I have to say [I changed] a lot, also because my life is completely different. And for this I am really proud of myself. Especially when I think about how dark the winter was.
Anyways, I just wanted to tell you all that I moved to Italy, I’m living, breathing proof that dreams can come true, and I cannot wait to share the beauty here as it all unfolds in this new, incredible chapter of my life [I feel like it’s all just beginning].
xxMaggie