Here and now

‘grateful heart. last night I realized it’s about being present in your life, and taking advantage of whatever stage you’re in, before you blink and another chapter is over…and to surround yourself with friends to talk about life with, laugh with, smile with, and who make you feel loved and important.’

I posted this on my personal Instagram account last week and it resonated with my friends, so I thought I’d share an expanded version here as it seemed fitting for an ‘everyday discoveries’ topic.

Last week at dinner with friends my emotions hit me as I thought about the part of my life that would soon be over, the places and the people I shared this part of my story with and the memories they hold. I realized it’s about being present in your life, and taking advantage of whatever stage you’re in, before you blink and another chapter is over. Even if the past seemed better and the future seems worse or vice versa, we can’t go back and we can’t skip ahead, so why waste our time living in those places that only exist in our mind? The present time is all we have, so soak it in.

(If you’ve seen A Star is Born five times like me, then right now you’re probably imagining Ally and Jackson sitting on the couch after he asks her to go to Memphis with him and she says she can’t because she has to finish her album and he tells her to ‘take it in.’)

I’ve spent the better part of the past two years holding on to a lot of negativity, a lot of frustration over things I couldn’t control, and even a loss of control over things I used to have a solid grip on. It didn’t feel good. One day my yoga teacher was talking about how she had an injustice happen in her life, and after dinner and talking with a friend she wondered if she would always be angry now. She was frustrated by it and said ‘I just don’t want to be angry anymore’ and I couldn’t have agreed more. It was exactly how I felt at that time, too. But she went on to talk about how we have to process emotions before we can release them. So as much as it sucks, I had to process the anger I was feeling before I could release it.

Now that I’m about to be moving out of my apartment and making some big changes, I feel like I never really knew what this chapter meant until now. And that’s okay. Sometimes we don’t know what something means, or its reason, until it’s over. The best we can do is embrace our present circumstances, live our life to the fullest way possible that we know how, and try to make the most of every chapter in our life story.

Besides yoga, a few things that help me evaluate how well I’m doing at embracing my present situation is by journaling, taking a walk, and acknowledging milestones. Journaling always allows me to get my thoughts down in a healthy way. Often I come to realizations after I write out everything that’s on my mind. When I read it back and reflect, sometimes the answers to my problems are right there. Walking (or biking or running) and just taking the time to think while I’m moving is a tonic for ideas for me. I usually end up feeling mental clarity at the end of a workout because of all the thinking I’ve done while being active. Finally, taking the time to acknowledge all the milestones and markers of time, big and small, is so important to embrace whatever place I’m in. Hold things sacred, even if they may seem small in the grand scheme of things. Birthdays, friendships, job changes, successes, new ideas, all of it. These are the things that make life worth living, and are always worth marking.

Yoga has truly taught me to live in the present, over the five years I’ve been practicing. I’ve talked about it before, but it really is the best teacher for letting everything else fall away, staying in the moment, and practicing presence. I wouldn’t trade my yoga practice for anything. Like life it is a journey, there is always more to learn.

It also helps to surround myself with friends (and family) who make me feel loved and important. That dinner last week reminded me how good it feels to be surrounded by people who care about you and include you, for exactly who you are. And, as my older cousin wrote in my 23rd birthday card, ‘it is just the beginning.’ Think about this whenever those thoughts or insecurities about time take control of you, because truly, it is only the beginning…the best is yet to come.